Take off the masks.
Peel back the veil.
Reveal the real of you,
the sweet raw truth of you.
This quality of presence is exactly what the world needs.
At the end of 2016 I kept having the mantra "peel back the veil" echoing through my mind. Reveal the bitch, the shadow, the shame. Open the closets and let out the fuck ups and failures. Not as a self effacing pity party but as a reclamation of my humanness, my femaleness, my perfect imperfectness.
I wanted to come clean as an act of liberation, as counter context to the steady stream of pressure selling the sultry shapes, success stories, and unstoppable sex appeal that women are expected to be and achieve.
I am not like all the pretty pictures and well curated packages. I don't think any of us really are, and yet, we try so hard. We aim to look the part, do it right, be enough... all so we can hopefully feel and have what we're really seeking: love, acknowledgement and appreciation.
Everything I do has been a study of what's beyond the surface of things. I am hungry to know the deep roots that anchor our growth and being. I am curious about the true nourishment that makes our respective soul's sing. I love the wisdom of body and all the experiential memory stored within.
When at the end of the year everything in me said "strip down," I knew it was another call for deepening. I wanted to know what was underneath, beyond. Beyond the work I've done, beyond the growth I've seen, beyond my struggles and triumphs still playing out and doing their thing.
Stubborn as I am, the full strip down didn't happen until 1 week before the full moon lunar eclipse in my sign of Leo. I was mid launch on Body Talk, excited about the content and experience but struggling on launch timing and efficacy. I was trying to do it all, as every woman inevitably does at some point or another, and in the striving to "make something happen" I had disconnected from the essence I was trying to bring.
The walk was not behind my talk and that is NEVER a good recipe for me. My being and doing had separated teams and were in a stressed out stand off. Right there in the middle of it, I felt the call for a full strip down surrender.
Take off the masks, peel back the veil, and get real about what I want and need.
You may think I would already know these things, but the truth is I am (we are) ever evolving. Women are works of art in motion. Creatives bringing fresh energy into being. What worked before wasn't working now. I love the path of the creatrix, emerging with a revolutionary perspective on what was previously so status quo, but the revitalized stance often requires a tumultuous journey.
With the story in my head of expectations and success nagging, the go for it nature of me felt challenged by the slow waaaaay down soul request. I wondered if I needed a better strategy or plan or program or process. This was the sink hole of old wounds; do more and be loved. Thankfully instead of replaying past patterns of pushing forward in imbalance and discontent, I hit the pause button, reassessed, and did a course correct.
Truthfully I had a week. A holy hormonal vulnerable week. I thought maybe it was time to simply quit. Honestly. Change course, completely redirect. Not quit the calling, as dharma is dharma, but let the path shape shift.
Because the thing is, the world is changing. The political climate has us panicking, pouting and protesting. Modern technologies are inundating us with alternating surges of shock & awe, overwhelming us with endless information, confusing us with "alternate facts," and constantly filling us with alluring options to buy, do, have, get, and be, right at the tip of our finger tips.
In the midst of all that noise it's easy to get caught up in the hustle to propel our own path forward even when your calling is intended to teach essential tools for navigating the maze.
The bottom line is, I knew I needed to quit the pushing, the under the gun drive, the external rules. I most definitely needed to quit the kind of stress that unplugs me from source in the first place.
And so I did.
I stripped down.
To the essence of the vision.
To the emerging revelations.
To the unyielding sensations asking me to approach this path of service another way.
It became crystal clear that I have to live my teachings not only in who I'm being but in how I'm leading, launching and delivering. From seed to fruit I must stay connected to source. This is how I can and will offer up the most nourishing juice.
As with all great lessons, this wasn't the first revelation. However, it was the first time I truly heeded the insights, without question. I organically got down to the real and prioritized source. Now I am looking at my business and what i'm offering in a new way.
And the questions, of course, roll in: How do we blend the sacred with success? How do I do this while not pimping the goddess, or the island, or the practices as the current alluring way to get lit?
I have always struggled with this. I get upset even when I see it happening and I want to run the other way. I think in numerous past lives I was the woman known for her craft, identified by her outstanding oddity and the powerful uncanny gifts I had. My business was my is-ness. I know I have been killed in lifetimes past for being the keeper of inner wisdom, killed for speaking the truth about the sacred realms and there is a way even now I am seeking to contain & protect.
Some of it lingers through time and lives in my body today. This lifetime I have been healing. I have been reclaiming my voice. I have been honing and owning my gifts. I am here in service of humanity awakening. I have been here for it before and I am here for it again. But each era reveals unique challenges in calling forth revolutionary leaps.
With the questions, I strip down. I keep digging down and in. Back to body - my body, the body of my business. To reveal the real. To feel the capital T truth of what's needed now.
Because truth be told, I suck at launches and enrollment and timelines and pithy promo pitches that push your pain body to participate. I suck at email and am easily overwhelmed by all the channels you can get to me and I can get to you. I have a hard time keeping up.
But...I'm fucking brilliant at helping you get down with you, at calling forth your light, at harnessing your shadow walk and turning poison into medicine, at returning you to the rich resource of Body, at clarifying and amplifying embodied confidence in every moment of your life.
I am brilliant at bridging Body and mind and returning the sacred keys you've lost or denied so that you can unlock your soul and reveal your Truth. I love teaching and deepening and weaving women together in the womb of the real where True magic lies.
I am interested and invested in reconnection. Reconnection at the source. Reconnection with the source. I want that connection to re-weave us together with inspiration and comforting affirmation that we in fact are filled with gifts that are essential to creating a sustainable future.
Writing now, I smile. I love what I love, and where I struggle is where I grow.
In this eclipse portal, in this month of February deemed a time of big change, things are shifting. I am trusting the mystery and stepping into the unknown. There will be a rich and soulful embodiment experience launching this year but the path to that is still being revealed.
For now, I am stripped bare, and feeling wildly free about doing everything differently and truly walking the path of the feminine and weaving from the mystery.
I'd say this was indeed an upleveling.
Truth and beauty live in the struggles and the joys.
Let's keep revealing the real. Both sides are medicine.